Hangover Wednesday: The Short Edition

Your Weekly Inspirational Quotes

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel of a mother”

                                                Abraham Lincoln, theatre-goer

“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”

                                                Mark Twain, pissed the bed at age 16

“Diligence is the mother of good luck.”

                        Benjamin Franklin, lucked his way into a lot of French ‘tang

            Yes.  It really happened.  Sam The Guy reaaly was trying to get Plankey to bang his mom.  I will repeat.  Sam was trying to get Plankey laid.  Laid by his mom.  Sam’s mother the woman that gave him life and he repays her by putting a Plankey between her knees.  I got my mom a bubbling footspa.  Clearly I am a better son.

          Besides Plankey sex (and Sonic The Hedgehog sex…more on that later) what a fucking awesome show.  Sam was backed up with weird after taking 2 weeks off from the Tudies.  He threatened to kill babies and yelled at everything.  It was good to have him back.  Also Taco Bell killed off their kids menu.  Yeah, I know right?  Taco Bell had a kids menu?  It was one big shrug of indifference as the world collectively went, “oh…okay then but you still have everything else, right?”.  Usually I try to wait a few paragraphs before I get into this but fuck it it’s my show/blog….

IT’S TIME FOR THE 12 PACK TUESDAY HEEEROOOOO OF THE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!

And good golly Miss Molly is she a winner!

           Mother of the Year 23 year old Ashley Taylor Wright of Pensacola, Florida.  What?  Bad people come from Florida?  Noooooo, it’s a lovely state what with the Bath Salt Cannibals, alligators, hillbillys, and Dennis “Scooter” Abrahamson(RIP).  SCOOOOOOTEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!  Yeah well, Mrs. Wright was at a local Dillards (btw Sam fucking hates Dillards) with her hubby and three children one of whom is a baby.  Which I have to point out now as it’s rather important later.  As they were getting into their car a Sheriff stopped Ashley and asked her to exit the vehicle.  This is where most would exit the vehicle, talk with the police in a reasonable tone and hope they haven’t broken any laws BUT this is Florida.  Wright began screaming at her husband to just drive away until the deputy started to try to remove her from the vehicle.  Again this is where you should maybe surrender..lemme check this story…nope.  Wright then grabs her baby carrier, which still contained her 14 month old child, puts between her and the sheriff and shouted “you will have to shoot through my baby to get me!”.  Normal.  The police struggled with her further until Ashley Taylor Wright exited the vehicle and started running away…with the baby still in her possession.  The cops gave chase which then promted Wright to do what any mother would do.  SHE THREW THE BABY AT THE COP.  Best part of this is that the cop dodged it.  Didn’t even make an attempt to save the baby.  Then again if this is it’s mother maybe dying is a better way out now.  This all happened because store clerks at Dillards noted that Wright had shoplifted about $300 in clothes.  After arrest Wright claims they were for her children but many of the items were womens clothing soooooo you are a cunt.  A lying cunt.

You think it was a harsh criticism when I said Florida is a taint stain?  Do you still think I was exaggerating?

          So I realize this post is a day late and honestly my eyes are tired so I’ma have ta refer you to listening to the actual show today for the rest.  I will tell you that in the last half hour I read sexxxy fan fiction about Super Mario, Sonic The Hedgehog, Rugrats, and Harry Potter.  Then Sam and I got in a fight about who would write better fanfic.  So next week listen in as we read our own fanfic that we wrote this week.

 

   Exicted to see what happens when Hannibal Lecter facerapes Dr. Robotnik,

                           Lubemaster General James T Poling, DDS,DDP,TCBY    

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