HANGOVER WEDNESDAY: THE RETURNING-ING

 

TODAYS WEEKLY INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

“I love the Power Glove…it’s sooo bad.”

Lucas Barton, The rich kid from “The Wizard”

“I wrote you 365 letters.  I wrote you everyday, for a year.”

Noah from that “Notebook” movie

“No you couldn’t call them the Naughty Twins.  They’re the Assfuck Twins.  Why would you call them the Naughty Twins when they get fucked in the ass all the time?”

Maxxx Orbison, Porn Director

 

AND WEEEEEEEEEE’RE BAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!

So in our triumphant return to Tap Studio’s Sam and the 12 Pack crew celebrated and got drunk…wait.. we do that every week.  Except for last week.  We didn’t do a show.  Still got drunk though.  Funny how that works.  Early in the show we talked about how we spent our weeks with Sam winning the week (i didn’t know we were competing).  The man saw and met Alkaline Trio, then put on an anti-Hoedown at The Crimson and then went and saw The Swingin Udders.  I watched TV and ate cake.  Eh, I still think I win.

it’s been awhile and i can’t wrap my head around what I’m supposed to….

IT”S THE 12 PACK TUESDAY HEEEERRO OF THE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!

This week we highlighted the Reddit poster who posted (obviously) her break up letter to her cheating scum boyfriend…oh, and that bitch Kelsi.

Here is the note in it’s entirety.  If you want the full experience play the theme from the Nicholas Sparks hit movie “The Notebook” while you read.

Hey Honey!

Guess who left his Facebook open on the computer and got a message from Kelsi?  Yeah! You!  🙂  But don’t worry, I didn’t break anything.  Actually, I was nice enough to package your things!    And I even invented a neat game, since I know you like looking for things (like other girls).  Here’s where you’ll find your things.

Your clothes are at the 1st place we met

Your videogames are at the 1st place we kissed (12 Pack Note: he is never getting those back)

Your laptop is where we bought our 1st videogame together

Your TV is where we 1st went all the ay (12 Pack Note: is it..in her vagina?)

Everything else, including pictures of the last 2 years of our lives, is AT KELSI’S HOUSE!!!!

Have fun!  Oh, and while I didn’t break or damage anything.  I can’t guarantee that anyone else won’t find it!  Happy Hunting!!

 

Hands down this is the greatest achievement in dumping.  We did have a few follow ups because what if Kelsi is just some rando crazy lady who sent a couple of messages to this poor bastard.  That almost makes it better!

 

Well alot more happened this week but i’m not feeling particularly chatty today so i will leave you with the fact that we gave away 2 free tickets to the Baroness show for this Friday.  Yeah that should be an incentive to tune in next week when Sam gives away tickets to someplace called “Sammy Pants Island: A Throbbing Meat Adventure!”.  I wonder what that’s like?  Sign me up!

 

Oh wait I get it now…that’s gross Sam,

Poet Laureate James T Poling, MMA,BBW

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